My Journey - Ordinary Persons Do Succeed

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw

I am a lawyer by trade. It is said that every lawyer thinks deep inside they have a best selling novel waiting to be written. In a way this series I have titled “My Journey - By the Grace of God” is that novel that has been forming the last 57 plus years of my life. I don’t know if anyone will read it or like it. I do know it will be a successful series because I am finally putting my journey in writing. Each month I will post a blog on a segment of my life that has led me to where I am today - embarking on a new real estate journey in a new location.

I will share some details of my life and lessons I learned along the way. I think I have been successful in life, but I am an ordinary person. I am not famous. I have not accomplished some feat that will wow anyone. I have lived a very interesting life. My wife tells everyone I have a lot of Forrest Gump in me. I assume it is because of my habit of unintentionally (most of the time) meeting famous people, and not because of my intellect. I have never asked her fearing which reason she may give for the statement.

Grit, determination, a refusal to fail are words I like to choose to describe my inner drive. I have failed many times in my life. I fail at something each day. Failure is a part of life and failures often teach us our most important lessons. For many years it was a fear of failure that drove me to overcome adversity, but fear can control every aspect of your life. Using it as a fuel for success is not something I would advise anyone. Today, I do not fear failure. I do not run away from failure. I stare it in the eyes, regroup, decide on my next path, and then move on from it.

The Early Journey

I am not sure you will really understand me or my journey without a little background. In some future blogs I may touch more on how early childhood setbacks helped and hurt me in my journey, but for now just the quick facts. I was not raised in a nuclear family. My parents gave custody to my paternal grandparents when I was 3 years old. I never had a close relationship with my mother or father. I was the first in my family to get a college degree. I was the first to get a postgraduate degree.

I learned at an early age that I liked to lead rather than being led. I got into many playground fights in elementary school (and lost most of them - mostly to same bully). Most of the fights were started when I interrupted the bully’s attempt to pick on someone else. We would throw down and I would get the worst of it, and off to the principal’s office we would go. In the sixth grade I was finally winning the fight and I feel certain the teachers seeing this slowed down their walk to break up the fight. In my one and only victory, the principal didn’t punish me - he suspended the bully. Shortly afterwards the bully’s parents removed him from our school and sent him to another school. This kind of cemented me as a leader for my class for the next 6 years.

During junior high and for most of high school I was the shortest boy in our class. It didn’t stop me from playing sports which became my passion and something I could do to get the attention I craved since I felt different in being raised by my grandparents. I went to a school where most of the families were nuclear and upper middle class. Here I was with no relationship with my parents and from a poor family. Sports provided a level playing field and I took advantage of it. I started at QB in junior high, started at point guard in basketball and was the best middle distance runner in my part of the state. In high school, I reduced my sports to my true love - basketball. Part of the reason was one parent in junior high told me I should concentrate on football or track and not basketball. Interestingly, that parent’s child was competing for me for a starting position on the basketball team. I was small but I worked hard. I set a goal in junior high that I wanted to be part of the team that won the first state championship in any sport for my school. We won state my junior and senior years of high school. I made the All-Star team my senior year. Sports were my first lessons in setting goals, outworking others to obtain those goals, and the satisfaction of leading a team to success. My senior year I also was elected as Student Body President.

Looking back on my early journey there are a few things that really stand out to me. 1) If you want to be successful then surround yourself with like minded people. Some of those others in my class who helped us win two state titles include a couple of doctors and a priest. Build yourself a winning team. 2) Set goals but more importantly put together a plan and put in the work. It really isn’t about whether or not you succeed in the goal, but it is about the process of working towards that goal that defines success. Yes we won state and hit the ultimate goal, but that wasn’t the most important lesson. It was the hours in the gym, running the road dribbling the ball, going to summer camps, and hours shooting in the rain or cold when others did not that were the path to success. 3) Believe in yourself even when others do not. I was poor, from the wrong family, and too short. I never let the words or vision of others deter me. The only person who controls your future is you.

I share this as the starting point for the blog because to read and understand my story you need to learn a little about me. The next blog will feature more failures than success and some important lessons I learned along the way. Feel free to leave comments or reach out as I love feedback. Why share this on my professional real estate site? Buying or selling a home will be one of, if not the, largest purchase and single investment you will make. You should know the person you trust to guide you through that process. Who are they? What drives them? Do I identify with them? I want people interested in working with me to know me - my who, when, what, why and how I came to be in real estate and what I bring to the table.